Silence and Solitude Part 1

I had the joy of speaking with Christine Bartel’s small group yesterday. A truly incredible group of women seeking after God together in community.

Q. Why would women who already have a rich “quiet time” devoted to God also want to practice silence and solitude, and particularly the practice of silent prayer?

A. Because when practiced together, these spiritual disciplines create a sacred space to commune with God (it’s really a little taste of heaven) and they set the stage for deep self reflection leading to spiritual transformation.

So here is a little from what I shared.

The spiritual discipline of solitude is setting aside time away from distractions to make oneself fully present to God, who loves us and is always fully present to us.

The spiritual discipline of silence is pulling away from noise and holding internal quiet for the purpose of focusing on and listening to God. This is different from simply being verbally quiet because we not only refrain from speaking, but we also try to quiet our mind, letting go of control, allowing God to set the agenda for our time with Him (even if we can’t tell that we are getting anything out of it).

Perhaps those difficult words, “let go of control,” are what make silence so difficult. We like to be in control. Especially when we manage to get some coveted time alone, we want to set the agenda. What mother of young children doesn’t crave some “peace and quiet” to do something just for herself? Entertainment, napping, or investing in our hobbies are all part of a balanced life. But silence and solitude are not the same as a therapeutic space to relax and recharge (though we sometimes need that too!). Silence and solitude are spiritual disciplines that help us draw closer to the God who loves us.

You may be thinking, I already have a “quiet time” every morning. This is time that you probably spend devoted to God in prayer, worship, Bible reading/study, and maybe journaling. However, in silence and solitude, we do something slightly different. We still our mind and body to focus all that we are on our loving Creator and God. This is a practice of wordless communing with God. Adele Calhoun calls it opening ourselves “to God in a place beyond words.”[1]

Some traditions call it “soaking” in God’s presence. We stop talking, both verbally and mentally, and just sit with God. We let Him look at us and love us. It sounds simple. And over time it becomes more so, but in the beginning it can be a struggle because of our desire to feel results: good feelings are often produced from listening to worship music, new revelation or knowledge often result from Bible study. What makes this practice so precious is that as we sit with an open posture to receive, we trust that if something needs to be “produced,” God alone will do it as we give up control and let Him have His way with us… whether we feel anything in the moment or not.

In my next post, I’ll explain how this might look and give some tips to set you up for a positive and sustainable practice of these disciplines.

[1] Adele Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, p. 121.