Confessing to one another
“The followers of Jesus Christ have been given the authority to receive the confession of sin and to forgive it in His name. “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (Jn. 20:23). What a wonderful privilege! Why do we shy away from such a life-giving ministry?”[1]
How do you feel about the practice of confessing sin to another person?
I ask this as a Protestant who knows that we can confess our sins directly to God (1Tim. 2:5). I take advantage of this often. Yet, I also know there are times that I feel led to confess to another believer.
Interestingly, modern brain science seems to support this idea. Dr. Curt Thompson, explains that we can literally change the way we move forward carrying a dark or shameful memory by sharing it with a safe, compassionate person. This is because when we do so, we integrate the other person’s compassionate reaction into our brain’s present processing of the original story, enabling neurons in our brain to connect with each other in a new way. [2] If I apply this to confession, then by connecting with a compassionate Christian friend (or confessor if in a tradition that offers one) I can expose a shameful memory, in this case my sin, and literally change my perspective on it and the feelings attached to it. Forgiveness is not only received from God, but felt as a result of the connection between me and the other person.
I like what Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person.” [3] I know God can wash away feelings of guilt and shame without another person involved, but might He sometimes want us to minister to one another in this way? Might this be a way to bear one another’s burdens by helping carry their heavier sins to the foot of the cross? I don’t know; but if it is, I want God to make me be one of those burden bearers.
Who are your burden bearers? Who are your compassionate people?
Are you a safe and compassionate person to whom others feel comfortable confessing their sin?
If someone shares their confession, can you resist the urge to comfort them by downplaying what they did? That can squelch the work of the Holy Spirit. Trust the the Spirit to do His work of conviction. You can bring plenty of comfort with a nonjudgmental attitude, a reminder of the work Jesus already did, and the promise that if they confess their sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive them and purify them from all unrighteousness (1Jn. 1:9).
[1] Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 146.
[2] Curt Thompson, Being Known Podcast, ep. 8.
[3] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 116.
