Enough really is enough
An honest confession: I have dreaded Lent these past few years. At the first of the year I get a sinking feeling. I dislike hunger pains. Oh, who am I kidding? I dislike anything that reminds me that the universe is not here for my personal satisfaction. Still, I know Lent is the season to practice Gal. 5:24, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified [are crucifying] the flesh with its passions and desires”.
In recent years I have fasted certain foods like rich meats and sweets. I’ve fasted certain meals or practiced only eating during certain times of the day. I am not saying it has been to no avail. I have had to rely on God, but my overall disposition? I don’t behave more Christlike as my daughter’s comment this morning attests: “Ash Wednesday is this Wed? Wow, Lent lasts a long time… No wonder you’re always so grumpy…that’s a long time to go without sugar.” Ugh!
I do pray more during Lent, but technically I could pray more even without fasting. Read: she begins the rationalizing. Oh, just wait, It gets worse, on particularly bad days I spin… queue the melodrama… “Life comes with its own suffering! I will naturally suffer in this broken, sinful world. Why on earth would I self-impose suffering?” The truth is, if the greatest man who ever lived was led by the Holy Spirit into the desert and while there, fasted (Matt. 4:1-11); and if He assumed His followers would fast (Matt. 6:18), then clearly there is value in it.
So, this year, for better or worse, I am laying my usual fast with all my inner melodrama aside in pursuit of a simple idea: Enough really is enough.
The idea came from this video on LoyolaPress.com. Richard Leonard, SJ suggests not starving during Lent but simply eating what is enough. The goal being to satisfy hunger but not necessarily satisfy desires. I was struck by this idea. What if enough really is enough? Talk about a countercultural idea. What would this look like for me?
Maybe a little caffeine in the morning, but probably not creamer (rats!). Maybe moderate sized meals but certainly no need to go back for seconds, desert or wine.
In my ability to obtain both needs and wants, have I lost touch with what constitutes “my needs”? When I hit the point where my needs are met, will I notice just how much abundance God has given me beyond my needs? What other invitations might be revealed during this practice?
So, in a couple days, I will begin my not-so-much-a-fast-of-certain-foods, but a fast that includes a noticing. Noticing what is truly enough for my mind, soul and body.
If you have read to the end, here comes my actual honest confession: God told me two weeks ago what my true fast is to be this Lent. And it has nothing to do with what enters my mouth and goes into my stomach…but what comes out of my mouth from my heart (Matt. 15:18). There are some things my soul needs to wrestle, even suffer with this Lent, in order to be rid defilement. May it be so! And perhaps this practice of noticing God’s gentle care and love to provide for my needs will humble me and provide fuel for the burning away of chaff.
Lord, have Your way in me. Let the Lenten journey begin!
