What You Really Want
James K.A. Smith makes a thought-provoking statement in the opening pages of his book, You Are What You Love. He is referring to John’s gospel narrative when Jesus finds John the Baptist’s former disciples following Him. Jesus stops, turns to them and asks “What do you want?” (1:38). Smith points out that Jesus didn’t ask them what they knew. His point being that simply acquiring information doesn’t have the power to shape our being. He goes on to explain:
[Jesus] doesn’t even ask, “What do you believe?” He asks, “What do you want?” This is the most incisive, piercing question Jesus can ask of us precisely because we are what we want. Our wants and longings and desires are at the core of our identity, the wellspring from which our actions and behavior flow.”[1]
As evangelicals, we need to be careful as to whether we are implicitly or explicitly teaching that our longings and desires are not to be trusted (notice your own gut response even as you read that last sentence). We might fall into this trap because, after all, Jeremiah 17:9 warns, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Note that in ancient biblical language the heart is the seat of the spirit, where emotions, thoughts, and motivations are birthed. But Jeremiah is talking about an unregenerate heart in a time before Jesus came to give us new hearts (Ez. 36:26). If the Spirit of God now lives within our hearts, and we surrender to Him, then He can sanctify our hearts, so that our emotions, thoughts and motivations are becoming more like Jesus’.
This is why in spiritual direction we often take time to observe our new God-given desires and core longings. It is transforming to shed the afflictive, fickle wants of the old false self. In the process, blind spots are often uncovered revealing the lesser, cheaper wants and distractions that our culture duped us into believing would satisfy our longings, but never do.
Of course, one could do this interior contemplative work in prayer alone with God’s Spirit. But I genuinely believe God loves to work through His people. Either a mature spiritual friend or a spiritual director is a Holy Spirit filled companion who will listen, pray, help you notice and connect the dots as God reveals what He has planted deep within you. However, this is only the first step. After these discoveries are made, a whole new world often opens revealing purpose and calling. A rule of life can be crafted to protect these core desires, lest they be displaced again by new (or old) distractions.
My prayer for you is that our Lord will reveal to you what you really want, and not let any cheap substitute displace it. And may He bring you people to help you discover and protect the core longings He has planted in you as He uses them to shape you into the person that He created you to be.
[1] Smith, p. 1-2.
